When I arrived to the University of Maryland, I didn’t have any idea what major (let alone career) to pick, so I picked my family career default: business. By senior year, I got an offer from a prestigious program, happy to make my parents proud that I was on a strong trajectory.
But by February before graduation, I had the sinking feeling, perhaps the existential dread, that something was wrong. I didn’t want that job. I didn’t want to be stuck behind a computer improving
IT systems for a big corporation - it felt meaningless (no offense, corporate America!). I had the urge for my career to “matter”.
And like fate, Teach for America swooped in with their slogan: “One day, all children in this nation will have the opportunity to attain an excellent education.” I was hooked and bought a 1-way ticket to Los Angeles. A crappy salary and terrible conditions were no match for the purpose I felt I was living every day.
This clear mission, a great organization (love you Alliance!), and fast career advancement felt amazing - until 8 years later, my 2nd moment of existential dread arrived and I was back to square one in 2019. Let’s talk about purpose, and I’ll share how my story related to the topic has unfolded. Pictured is me and some amazing students who worked with me on my last project at Alliance.
[This post is part of a multi-part series on life design discussing how to live intentionally, and a life aligned with what you really want. This first topic discusses purpose and “your why”.]
What is Purpose?
To keep it simple - your purpose is your reason for existence, your North Star, your what gets you up from bed in the morning. It’s “your why”.
Psychologists Frank Martela and Michael F. Steger defined the ingredients of purpose as:
“Coherence: how events fit together. This is an understanding that things happen in your life for a reason. That doesn’t necessarily mean you can fit new developments into your narrative the moment they happen, but you usually are able to do so afterward, so you have faith that you eventually will.
Purpose: the existence of goals and aims. This is the belief that you are alive in order to do something. Think of purpose as your personal mission statement.
Significance: life’s inherent value. This is the sense that your life matters. If you have high levels of significance, you’re confident that the world would be a tiny bit—or perhaps a lot—poorer if you didn’t exist.”
One distinction that’s important is that between purpose and meaning. From Sir John Whitmore, a pioneer in coaching, said: “Meaning is the significance we ascribe to an event or action in hindsight, but purpose is our intent to embark on a course of action. Meaning is psychological, while purpose is a spiritual concept.” Here’s an interesting 2017 Pew Research study on US Americans and meaning.
Purpose can exist anywhere in your life - in your career, family, religion, community, hobbies and other places.
While purpose for each person is like their fingerprint, totally unique to them, MLK, Jr. perhaps said it best: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” The great thing about anchoring purpose in other people is that helping people through any means ultimately makes us much happier. Win-win y'all!
Different Perspectives on Purpose
We could come at purpose from many perspectives and never arrive at a single conclusion. That’s a good thing - different viewpoints will help you come to your own coherent understanding and viewpoint, with the aim of having a purpose and philosophy that allow you to live your life in alignment and reap the benefits of doing so.
Below we’ll discuss the following questions before learning different ways of seeing purpose:
Does purpose exist in an objective sense? In what way is purpose built into our DNA?
What are leaders’, philosophers’, and people’s beliefs and practices around purpose?
What are the benefits of having purpose?
[For each part below, click on the arrow ">" to read each section]
On Objective Reality of Purpose
I think it's important to distinguish “objective reality” from “subjective experience” on purpose - but ultimately for humans, our subjective experience is perhaps what actually matters, as we are operating in accordance with our beliefs. Here is Yuval Noah Harari, author of Sapiens: “As far as we can tell from a purely scientific viewpoint, human life has absolutely no meaning. Humans are the outcome of blind evolutionary processes that operate without a goal or purpose. Our actions are not part of some divine cosmic plan, and if planet earth were to blow up tomorrow morning, the universe would probably keep going about its business as usual. Hence any meaning that people ascribe to their lives is just a delusion.” Okay that can sound depressing, but he goes on to clarify: “The main question in life is suffering. How can we be liberated from it? Why should you be miserable that you are not part of some cosmic drama…You mean nothing, but to the people around you, you matter.” This last statement is very aligned with Buddhist thinking, and Mahatma Gandhi similarly said, “Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” Others would disagree - whether believing in God, fate, or other forces, many people do think a purpose has been given to them. There’s no way to prove it, so perhaps we come back to the fact that ultimately, how you think about purpose is all that matters as you are designing your life.
On our Biology
On Motivation and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
What do philosophers and world leaders think about purpose?
If you’re curious, here is an interesting breakdown of different philosophies. Below, I’m sharing some quotes that give different perspectives.
Purpose in numbers:
Compared to a 2011 Lifeway Research study, Americans today are more likely to regularly think about how they can find more meaning and purpose. “During COVID-19 many experiences, pleasures, and metrics of success became irrelevant overnight,” said McConnell.
In 2021, more than 2 in 3 Americans (68%) said a major priority in their life was finding their deeper purpose. Almost 3 in 4 (73%) said it’s important they pursue a higher purpose and meaning for their life.
From an article out of UC Berkeley: “While purpose tends to be highest in adulthood, old age can come with a diminishing sense of purpose and direction.” In one survey of people ages 50-92, only 30% reported feeling purposeful. “The causes tend to link to retirement, because the biggest sources of purpose for adults, work and family, take a major hit…It can feel like the things that defined us—our very identity—are slipping away.”
There is also the topic of purpose at work. According to McKinsey, while 85% of people feel they have purpose, only 65% can articulate it. “One of the things we were surprised to find in the research is that 70% of people said they define their purpose through work. And millennials even moreso are more likely to see work as their life calling.”
What does the research say about the benefits of purpose?
Evidence is growing that a higher sense of purpose is associated with healthier lifestyle behaviors (e.g., more physical activity and preventive healthcare use, as well as reduced illicit drug use and the likelihood of sleep problems), healthier biological function (e.g., reduced inflammation and allostatic load), physical function, and also reduced risk of chronic disease (e.g., lower risk of cardiovascular disease and cognitive impairment), and mortality.
According to Australian Unity, purpose is associated with “stronger personal relationships and improved mental health…Conversely, when we lack a sense of purpose, we can feel stuck, or stagnant – which can lead us to feel depressed or anxious, unmotivated and generally dissatisfied with our situation.”
The Australian Unity Wellbeing Index, conducted in partnership with Deakin University identifies sense of purpose, or “achieving in life”, to be one of the seven key domains, or areas, of well-being.
What can I do about purpose?
Start with a purpose “check-up”.
Author Arthur Brooks shared 3 questions that can help us get a pulse on our sense of purpose:
“Do you feel out of control—tossed about in life without rhyme or reason? If so, you need a better grasp on coherence.
Do you lack big plans, dreams, or ideas for your future that excite you? This is a purpose issue.
Do you feel like it wouldn’t matter if you disappeared, like the world would be no worse—or maybe better—if you did? This is a problem of significance.”
Self-reflection goes a long way in clarifying our thoughts and feelings. Simone De Beauvoir said, “It is in the knowledge of the genuine conditions of our lives that we must draw our strength to live and our reasons for living.”
You realize your life lacks purpose in some sense…now what?
First of all, believe that you have purpose and it just takes some time and reflection to get there. Dr. Kendall Bronk, a professor of psychology at Claremont Graduate University said, “We all have things that we care about, we all have special talents that we can apply to make a meaningful difference in the world around us…that is why I believe we all have purpose.”
[For each part below, click on the arrow ">" to read more guidance in detail]
1. Start with understanding yourself.
An important question to start - do you have a strong sense of who you are, your identity? In a 2011 study, of high school and college students, “Researchers found that the more solid their sense of identity, the higher their sense of purpose.” The exploration of identity is found to be tightly linked to finding purpose. If you have a hard time describing who you are to your core, perhaps give it a shot to explore and understand your identity. Sometimes it helps to talk to your loved ones and ask them what they think makes you…you. Just make sure that you have a sense of self created by you, and not what other people and society think you should be.
2. Think about the people and communities you care about.
3. Think about values and causes important to you.
4. Do a writing exercise to detail your thinking more - note that the activities below overlap a lot.
5. From all this thinking, draft a mission.
6. Evaluating your mission/purpose statement.
7. Take a step back and reflect.
One Step Further with Ikigai - a Japanese way of articulating purpose holistically
Ikigai, like purpose, is what gets you up every morning and keeps you going. The Venn diagram (pictured) which displays the overlapping four main qualities: what you are good at, what the world needs, what you can be paid for, and what you love. The crossover of these 4 points is where ikigai stands, although Ikigai does not have to be one thing like your career - it is the different parts of your life each playing an important part in your fulfillment.
You can use Ikigai as a way of designing your life, or you can do a "life audit". Rank the top 10 activities you do in a week, and ask yourself for each activity:
Is it something that I love doing?
Is it something the world needs?
Is it something I’m good at?
Is it something I can get paid for? If it’s not something you can get paid for, is what you can get paid for a good trade-off for really financially supporting your ikigai?
Hopefully, this will help you put the puzzle pieces together in your life.
Back to my story
After 8 years in education, something was missing for me. The K-12 system had me frustrated and…
bored. No longer was I making a direct impact on kids, and no longer did I get fulfillment from fixing organizational problems internally. I wanted to be closer to the impact, and I wanted to do work that required me to innovate and build new things to solve urgent problems.
After an MBA in Spain (me in my graduation gown in the picture) and a "false start" in financial services, I’m getting on track with building my coaching business and doing my best to steer my consulting work toward more people-related projects. I'm moving closer to my Ikigai...but guess what else?!?! I am plotting my return to education. No idea what that looks like yet…stay tuned!
Closing out the topic of purpose
You get to exist any way you want – and whatever way you choose is perfect, just listen to your heart. If you are someone that wants more from your life, you maybe feel less fulfilled, or something is missing, I hope this post is helpful.
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:
“I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no ‘brief candle’ to me. It is sort of a splendid torch which I have a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it over to future generations.” - George Bernard Shaw
For Learning and With Love,
CC
Sources:
Book: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
Book: Coaching for Performance by Sir John Whitmore
Book: Behave, The Biology of Humans by Robert Sapolsky
Book: Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari
Podcast: TED Interview Episode with Elizabeth Dunn - Design Your Life For Happiness
Podcast: McKinsey Episode - The Search for Purpose at Work
Podcast: Freakonomics Episode: Yuval Noah Harari Thinks Life is Meaingless and Amazing
Article: The Atlantic: The Meaning of Life is Surprisingly Simple
Article: Mark Manson - 7 Strange Questions that Help You Find Purpose in Your Life
Article: Lifeway Research Study - American’s Views of Life’s Meaning and Purpose are Changing
Article: CNBC - Harvard researchers say this mental shift will help you live a longer, healthier life
Article: Journal of Preventive Medicine - Purpose in life and 8-year mortality by gender and race/ethnicity among older adults in the U.S.
Article: Arthur Brooks - Finding the meaning of life is easier than you think
Article: Australian Unity - How our sense of purpose affects our wellbeing
Article: Savvy Tokyo - The Japanese Concept of Finding Purpose in Life
Website: University of California Berkeley: Greater Good Website
Website: Purpose Challenge website
Website: Meaning of Life According to Different Philosophies website
Website: Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy - Meaning of Life page
Website: Positive Psychology - Finding Meaning in Life
Website: Medical News Today - Maslow’s Heirarrchy of Needs
Website: BigThink - Maslow’s Forgotten Pinnacle: Self Transcendance
Website: SimplyPsychology - Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Website: BetterUp - Start finding your purpose and unlock your best life
For those of y'all that are curious about the results from the survey I sent out, see the results below. (note: this is not scientific nor does it represent a statistically representative sample!)
One great quote from the survey:
"There’s no way we were put into this space and time to truly be self-isolated or self-interested. We happened here. We didn’t choose to be here, but we choose moments that happen next. If we’re going to be surrounded by people, process, and tech AND have the luxury of safety, clean water and consistent electricity, we should do more for those who don’t."
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