How many times have you been told that you can do (pretty much) anything? Did you really believe that?
I certainly didn’t. You see these star athletes, these CEOs, authors, and all I thought was - they are special. They were born with something. They were lucky. Their family must have had money - some reason that I explains why I could never be one of them. And frankly, an excuse.
Whether or not the statistics say one way or another, let’s consider that we are looking at the fully baked product of their life’s work. You did not see the countless hours, the sweat, the failures, the money spent, all the people that supported them, the embarrassment they went through. You only saw the final product.
Angela Duckworth’s book, “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance”, somehow put a stake in my brain that I will never forget - if you truly want something, and are willing to do what it actually takes to get it, you really can.
Impact on Me
For the first time - I’m not kidding you, this is hot off the press - I actually believe that I can do anything if I really (really really really) wanted. And why does that now matter to me?
I was experiencing a chicken-and-egg type of problem. Any time I said I wanted something, I would tell myself I didn’t want it enough - because - it hurt too much to say I didn’t believe I could do it. So I would say I didn’t want it and could never find a project worthy of my time and energy.
If I did start a project, it was hastily and with the slightest setback, I’d conclude this was way more work than I expected (or again, I didn’t believe I could be successful).
Enter the book Grit, and it broke this pattern. And now that I see growing Potencia, becoming an executive coach, and working on leadership development (all things I did not think I was capable of doing) as a lifelong endeavor, the question is not if, but when. Now I am willing to work for it because I BELIEVE with time and effort I can do it. Cheers to my next lifelong journey!
I am forever grateful to Duckworth, and hope she can make a difference for you too. Here are the key points that stood out to me:
1. Grit = Passion + Perserverance
“Why were the highly accomplished so dogged in their pursuits?...Each was chasing something of unparalleled interest and importance, and it was the chase - as much as the capture - that was gratifying. Even if some of the things they had to do were boring, or frustrating, or even painful, they wouldn’t dream of giving up. Their passion was enduring.”
“These exemplars were unusually resilient and hardworking. Second, they knew in a very, very deep way what it was they wanted. They not only had determination, they had direction. It was this combination of passion and perseverance that made high achievers special. In other words, they had grit.”
Key Point:
Read the above again, couldn't say it better!
2. Talent is overrated.
Duckworth tells the story of Scott Barry Kaufman, an academic psychologist who now publishes in major journals and attended Carnegie Mellon, Cambridge, and Yale:
“As a child, Scott was considered a slow learner, which was true...[and] was sent to a school for children with learning disabilities.
It was not until age fourteen that an observant special education teacher took Scott aside and asked why he wasn’t in more challenging classes…until then, Scott had never questioned his intellectual status… And then to find out, Scott signed up for just about every challenge his school had to offer. Latin Class. The school musical. Choir. He didn’t necessarily excel in everything, but he learned in all. What Scott learned is that he wasn’t hopeless…
He applied to the cognitive science program at CMU and was rejected. But then he said, 'I’m going to do it. I don’t care. I’m going to find a way to study what I want to study.' He then applied to the opera program and then transferred from opera to psychology and he graduated Phi Beta Kappa."
Key Point:
We are obsessed with “boy geniuses” and “girl prodigies”, but the people who make it to the top are more than talented - they work, improve and perservere relentlessly.
3. Talent vs. Skill
“David was in my freshman algebra class...the students in my class hadn’t scored high enough on Lowel's math placement exam to get into the accelerated track. David didn’t stand out at first...But I soon noticed that he was just so hungry to learn. After class, he’d stay and ask for harder assignments..."
He was moved to the advanced class: "...not all of David's grades were As...his first math test came back with a D. 'How did you deal with that?' 'I did feel bad - I did - but I didn't dwell on it." Eventually, he learned a 5/5 on his AP Calculus exam, got a dual degree in engineering and economics, a PhD in mechanical engineering, and then:
“Quite literally, the boy who was deemed “not ready” for harder, faster math classes is not a “rocket scientist”.
Key Point:
Talent is like a multiplier. With effort, talent becomes skill.
But talent without effort is just potential for greatness. We all have talent, but we don’t all exert the effort.
Being aware of your natural talents points you to the path of least resistance
4. “Effort Counts Twice”
“Talent x Effort = Skill
Skill x Effort = Achievement”
“Talent is how quickly your skills improve when you invest effort. Achievement is what happens when you take your acquired skills and use them.
One important caveat though! “Of course, your opportunities, for example having a great coach or teacher - matter tremendously too, and maybe more than anything about the individual.”
Key Points:
Working on our work ethic is perhaps the best investment in the journey toward greatness.
Also - opportunity is partially in our control but also requires effort to source. We need effort to network, to build our profiles, and to be in the right place at the right time.
5. Passion - Important but Elusive
"One thing that comes up time and time again [when people describe passion] is: 'I love what I do' [but] people couch it differently. They also say things like 'I'm so lucky, I get up every morning looking forward to work, I can't wait to get into the studio, I can't wait to get on with the next project.' These people are doing things not because they have to or because it's financially lucrative..."
"First, research shows that people are enormously more satisfied with their jobs when they do something that fits their personal interests....second, people perform better at work when what they do interests them."
"Passion for your work is a little bit of discovery, followed by a lot of development, and then a lifetime of deepening."
“...interests are not discovered through introspection. Instead, interests are triggered by interactions with the outside world. The process of interest discovery can be messy, serendipitous, and inefficient. This is because you can't really predict with certainty what will capture your attention and what won't...without experimenting, you can't figure out which interests will stick, and which won't.”
Key Points:
Pay attention to all the things that you love to do, that you would do for free, activities where you lose yourself in the process (flow), activities that energize rather than drain you
Discovering passion is one of those processes you can't control, optimize, plan - you just have to surrender, experiment, try new things, meet all types of people
Remember that effort is the secret ingredient here - what are you willing to work your a** off for because you love it?
6. “How Gritty Are You?”
I loved this exchange:
Duckworth: "Grit is about something you care about so much that you’re willing to stay loyal to it."
Audience Member: "It’s doing what you love. I get that."
Duckworth: "Right, it’s doing what you love, but not just falling in love - staying in love."
Key Points:
The grit scale asks questions that separately measure both long-term passion and perseverance.
Measure your grit with this survey here!
7. How to Grow Grit
“...grit grows as we figure out our life philosophy, learn to dust ourselves off after rejection and disappointment, and learn to tell the difference between low-level goals that should be abandoned quickly and higher-level goals that demand more tenacity. The maturation story is that we develop the capacity for long-term passion and perseverance as we get older.”
Key Point:
Keep experiencing, growing, reflecting, and refining your thoughts - and really learn to listen to yourself, so you can answer the hard questions of what you really want and are willing to work/sacrifice for
In summary:
Grit = Passion x Perserverance.
Digging deeper, the list of grit ingredients:
Passion: What’s some unchangeable, palpable passion, or goal of yours, that you are willing to work for, for the long haul?
Belief: You MUST have self-belief or you won’t persist. You MUST believe that, with effort, you can get there
Effort x Effort: Effort toward building the skills you need, times the effort towards your passion project
Attitude: You have to be willing to do whatever it takes, beyond just effort, to get there, and be willing to do things that are boring or tedious or scary or risky
Grit is not some fixed trait - you can grow it (with effort).
So ask yourself: Do you want it badly enough? DO you?
For Learning and With Love,
Chris
PS This is me and a friend Kim finishing a zombie apocalypse race ("Run for Your Lives!")... we persisted :)
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