You’ve heard of IQ (intelligence quotient) and EQ (emotional intelligence quotient). The first is about logical reasoning, and the latter is about understanding your and others' emotions. I know, we're talking about feelings!
Let's see where intelligence and emotion intersect. Cue: PQ, Positive Intelligence. What is it?
Let’s do a little experiment.
Step 1: Take 2 minutes to think about a big vision you have for your life. Do you want to write a book? Learn a new language? Travel the world on a boat? Buy a vacation home in the Caribbean?
Step 2: Listen to what the voices in your head have to say to you. What are they saying? Probably something like…”nah that’ll never happen.” or “it’s not worth it.” or “you’re not capable”.
Hear that?! Those are negative voices in your head. Shirzad Shamin, a Stanford Professor and the creator of Positive Intelligence calls these your “Saboteurs”. See his TEDx talk here.
Shirzad shares in his book: “One of the key principles of Positive Intelligence is that all your distress is self-generated. To be more precise, all your distress in the forms of anxiety, disappointment, stress, anger, shame, guilt—all the unpleasant stuff that makes up your suffering—is generated by your own Saboteurs.” So...perhaps it is worth it to manage and reduce these saboteur voices in your head.
Let’s do another experiment.
Step 1: Think about a person you want to celebrate for a birthday, an accomplishment, a special occasion, or just because!
Step 2: Think of at least 10 ways to celebrate this person.
Hear that! Those are powerful voices in your head that work for you and your goals. Shirzad calls these your “Sages”.
A quote from Shirzad’s book:
“Your Sage has the same snowballing, self-fulfilling effect, but in reverse. Your Sage moves you into action not out of feeling bad, but out of empathy, inspiration, the joy of exploration, a longing to create, a desire to contribute, and an urge to find meaning in the midst of even the greatest crises. From the Sage perspective, there is no such thing as a bad circumstance or outcome. Every outcome simply points to the first step toward the next positive outcome. The Sage moves you one positive step at a time, regardless of what life throws at you.”
So if we were to measure PQ, as a quotient (fraction/percent), it would measure: what percent of the time are the voices in your head working for you? X parts Sage to Y parts Saboteur.
Another excerpt from Shirzad’s book:
“To illustrate, imagine yourself on a beach. You’ve entered into a contest to build as many sand castles as possible in a few hours. Now imagine that every half hour a wave (a Saboteur) comes in and destroys half of what you have built. If you want to improve your performance, you could invest your time in attending a workshop that teaches you how to build sand castles even faster, increasing your castle-building potential incrementally. This would of course result in better performance. Alternatively, you could spend some of your time on building a sand wall to prevent the waves from sabotaging your castles every half hour. (This would be equivalent to building up your PQ “wall” to protect yourself from Saboteurs.)”
A PQ score of 75 was seen as a tipping point for significant performance, a 3-1 positive to negative (sage to saboteur) ratio that keeps you out of the “negative vortex”. You can see your score here.
So who are these so-called Saboteurs?
From Shirzad’s research, the ultimate saboteur, the boss of the rest, is “The Judge”. The judge in our heads is judging everyone and everything - you, other people, and your circumstances.
Some classic judge quotes:
“You idiot!”
“Wow, he’s ugly.”
“Life is hard and people suck.”
Don't lie - your judge is probably pretty loud, obnoxious and a lying S-O-B!
And to make things worse, right on cue, we have some supporting nasty characters that jump out from behind the Judge - the accomplice saboteurs. There are 9 of them. They are the Controller, Stickler, Avoider, Hyper-Achiever, Pleaser, Victim, Restless, Hyper-Vigilant, and Hyper-Rational.
We all tend to have at least a little bit of all the accomplices, but certain ones will be much more prominent, rooted in our childhood and life experiences. These Saboteurs are rooted in 3 primary motivations:
Independence: “A need for boundaries with others and maintaining independence from them”
Acceptance: “A need to maintain a positive image in the eyes of others, to be accepted by them and gain their affection”
Security: “A need to control life’s anxieties and push away minimize them”
These saboteurs are nothing but smoke, mirrors, and lies. They deceive us because they are trying to keep us safe, but really are just stopping us from reaching our goals and being who we really are.
Want to see which saboteurs are strongest for you? Take the assessment here.
And just as we thought we were overwhelmed by the army of saboteurs, in come the calvary of sages! These sages are our inner powers, inner wisdom, our natural gifts as human beings. Who are these sages?
We all have them, they are:
Empathize: Empathizing is about feeling and showing appreciation, compassion, and forgiveness. Empathy has two targets: yourself and others
Explore: Explore mode generates is based in curiosity, openness, wonder, and fascination with what is being explored
Innovate: Innovation is about breaking out of the boxes, the assumptions, and the habits that hold us back. “What’s a whole new way to do this?” is the operating question.
Navigate: Navigate is about choosing between various paths and alternatives based on a consistent internal compass. The coordinates on this compass are your deeply-held values or what gives your life a sense of meaning and purpose. I
Activate: Activate moves you into pure action, where all your mental and emotional energies are laser-focused on action and not distracted by the Saboteurs.
These sage powers are in all of us, but we need to work to grow them. The stronger your PQ muscles in your brain, the more you will access your sage powers and reach your potential.
In the next post, we’ll dive a bit more into the neuroscience of PQ, the saboteurs, and sages.
Interested to discuss more? Book a consultation here.
For Learning and With Love,
Chris
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